p r e t t y r a n d o m

As I was scrolling through my feed on Twitter, I saw a tweet; ” Why so fussy about me asking this and that? Oldies always ask annoying questions about us and always end up telling stories about how GOOD their children are.” Yes. This happen almost every single time at almost everywhere. To be more exact, among all Malays. You name it, pasar malam, schools and etc. Alert; this situation has higher chance to happen to you at family gathering. Of course, I’ve been in that situation for countless times. Believe me, it’s really annoying and I usually make faces when the oldies start to be boastful about their family members. ”Oh tahu tahu je lah anak aunty yang study dekat Stanford tu baru je kerja dah belikan aunty 10 bracelet Cartier. ” K aunty, I get it. It was really infuriating! Oh how successful, is he the Malay Christian Grey? *inserted a photo of Christian Grey* *deleted because I cannot share my husband's picture anyway like hello, he's mine. Only mine!"...

Photo source: here. No, no. The photo is just an illusion for this entry. No such thing that I float (or sink) myself in the pool after midnight. A fact about me, I've never really fond of taking a night swim. The shadows and night breeze totally freak me out. But my little sister loves it. Okay that's all. Tonight, I'm going to pour my thoughts, my thinking based on a daily basis. I think it's quite normal among us teenagers to stay up late and thinking about life. Basically, thinking about whatever that revolves around us. Statistically, we get depressed later on. So I think as we grow older, all the horror stories we heard from our childhood don't scare us anymore.  It's when the clock start passed by 12am that scare us. Tick, tock, tick, tock. We decided to not sleep and to flashback everything that happened to us instead. Or in another words, drowning ourselves in our own thoughts. Deep thoughts, killer thoughts. I hope someday the future leader me w...

You know. That moment when you go overboard thinking about something you shouldn't even think about in the first place - it's devastating. These days, I struggle very hard to win fights against my heart. All this time, it has always been battles between my heart and my brain. Like any other fights and battles; they give me emotional, mental and physical pain, too. They say our minds are master of all, above all of our other organs. I second that. Biologically and logically, our hearts are. But come on, we are talking about our brain here, let that pass, shall we? I cannot deny anymore.  I'm still not over him.  I'm still into him.  I still haven't move on.  I know, right? I would take a bullet just so that things would be vice-verse. I would kill just so that I don't have to keep running away from the reality. THESE ARE THE KILLER FACTS I HAVE TO LIVE WITH. I know everyone think it's over between us two, that's good. But unfortunately, I cann...