p r e t t y r a n d o m

11.46am Greetings, people! Guess I have neglected this blog for many weeks. Was I busy? Yes. Was I too busy studying? No, I guess. Thing is, the schedule is so messed up. It made me so tired and I can't stay up too late because I got to wake up early for 8am classes! However, this weekend marks a history for me. (A history? Oh, please....) Well for me, at least. I'm still going to consider it as a history! I STAYED FOR THE WEEKEND AND DID NOT GO HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN THIS SEMESTER. *yay* So what did I do? Man, I finally went out with my gay friend, Afif. We watched Star Wars. I was a little too excited. I would rate the movie a 8.5 out of 10. I dig Star Wars and they sure did not disappoint their fans. Thumbs up! Anyway I was a bit clueless in the movie hall. There were guys all around me. Every single time Chewie (Chewbacca) appears in the screen, the guys (including my friend Afif) would go ''awwwwww so cute'' while their eyes went glazing loo...

It's 12.47am, I should be revising account or sleeping because I have class at 8am to 5pm tomorrow. Frankly speaking, I can't do neither revising or sleeping. I'm just so downhearted to do anything. You know what I want to do? To hug my granny in my arms. I miss you so much, tokmak. I hope you're feeling better. This post has nothing to do with the 1.0's. She got mild stroke attack on her right side last week. What makes me sad is that I can't face the music that my grandmother is so old. Too old. I hope she's 10 years younger and healthier. I want her to live longer. We need her, I need her. I believe for those who have a grandmother knows and feel the same that grandmothers are mothers of all kindness. They are the queens of the queens. Whenever I hear or see the act of kindness, it automatically reminds me of her. It's like the equation of the word Kindness=Grandmother. I have no more strength to write more, or feel like it. I just wanna be by her...

I've kept this entry for so many months in the draft, I think now is the time to release it. This was made in April, 21st. _______________________________________________________________________________ Today, the reality hit me hard. I mean, in such good ways. Like when our teachers hit our hands during our pre-school days because we held the pencil wrongly. But can't put all blame on us tho, writing the letter R was hard. Oh and as for me, Q too. Oh wow, I've mentioned one of my childhood memories there. So now I shall continue. Referring to the title; my grand granny. My grand granny has never harmed me in my whole 18 years of life. Not even a pinch. Thank you, my lovely tokmak. This week, my grand granny who has never even pinched me, got sick. Like, she's terribly under the weather. It makes me feel so terrified. Nothing has ever terrified me like she did. I was taking care of her in one morning, she was lying on her bed. I sat next to her, watching this p...

10.25pm As promised in the last entry, here goes the post! Oh yes, I just got back from my hometown. I spent my time really wisely with my family. I managed to cook & bake for them ( more like for myself actually haha). Being a typical me, I miss them so much already. Let's not talk about how clingy I am to my second brother; Ijal nowadays. Attention to Ijal's wife in the future, you better watch out, li. I wanted to stay until Monday since I have no class tomorrow but my dad has to go to Singapore + my mom is so busy so no one can send me to Malacca on Monday thus here I am, in Malacca!  So if I were asked to describe my first week of semester 2 with a word, I would go with the word ''thril ling ''. Referring to Google,  the word thrilling means : 1. cause (someone) to have a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure. 2. (of an emotion or sensation) pass with a nervous tremor. So now is it clearer for you? I am very excited to learn new stuffs,...

11.09pm Hello! Just want to say I'm coming back to my hometown tomorrow! Are you happy for me? Yay! Thanks! I will make one entry to tell you about my first week of trimester 2 and that's a promise. I'm feeling a little bit down right now and I'm just making it worse by listening to sad songs.....but in the same time, I'm expressing stuffs here so I think I'd be just fine. I was feeling excited and all because tomorrow's Friday and tell me who doesn't loves Fridays?! But today I purchased a second hand book; Business Law from a senior of mine. She's a Beta student, she was very talkative (tell me which Law student that's not talkative), what made my day special was meeting her. She didn't stop talking & ask questions! She also gave me so many tips on what to do, how to not just passed but to get first class pointer for foundation also. I was just so amazed with her until................. Me being me, I AM ALWAYS AND ALWAYS excited ...

This post is supposedly to be posted yesterday but mind you, my Tuesdays and Thursdays for the next 14 weeks are going to be PACKED AS HELL. Thank god there exist leisure time for me on Wednesday which happens to be between PACKED Tuesday and PACKED Thursday. Yesterday, 17th November, a history was created in my family. My little brother made it; he continued the 5A's result in UPSR legacy. Me, Danny, Faijal and Fayie (him). I was not THIS happy when Danny & Faijal got 5A's because there were a lot of kids their same age got the same result. But it's different this time following that the number of scorers who got 5A's is really small. So I'm pretty much proud and happy for my little naughty, dirty, smelly, rascal right here. My little boyfriend here, although he's already twelve years old....my god....HE ASKS TOO MANY QUESTIONS. He's like a 4 years old kid being curious about almost everything. Most of the time I'll just stay quiet because if...

4.22pm Monday blues.......did not hit me today. Probably because I have no class today so I spent the day unpacking stuffs, slept for the whole day, and now here I am typing rubbish (as always). Anyway, I thought it would be great for me to start fasting today plus I can save some money to not have lunch so, why not? Thoughts of getting slimmer? No chance, I cannot skip eating rice because I am a Malay. Is that even a valid reason (more like, excuse, girl)? No? Okay, whatever :p Yes I finally inserted and provided personal pictures of mine in here. I made this yesterday. So I have six subjects again this semester. Truth to be told, my god........I am so anxious about this semester with the thoughts of having to deal with group projects, new subjects and etc. But fret not dear self, hold on tight! Because my roommate said it is normal. (phew, glad that someone's actually think I'm normal) I for myself know that the first step is always the hardest. Hey you passed semester...

Hello, peace be upon you. Everything's quite rusty in this blog. Mainly because I totally forgot which email I used, I even forgot what was this blog's url! I almost made up a new blog - again, for the gazillion times. (oh, girl, exaggerating at your best). So how's life? Life.........how do I describe it. I've got into a Uni, a private Uni, which is quite near to my hometown. Thank to my parents, for all their willingness to allow me study there and of course, for their eternal support. I love you, mom & dad :) Anyhow, I'm currently on my semester break for a month. This is my first semester break ever as a University student. I started my break with going to one of my idol's concert on the same day I sat for my last paper. The concert was amazing, my idol totally nailed it but it's just that I didn't have that much fun because well, well, my companion was not really into her so, you know. Whatever we do in life, when we have the right companion, ...

As I was scrolling through my feed on Twitter, I saw a tweet; ” Why so fussy about me asking this and that? Oldies always ask annoying questions about us and always end up telling stories about how GOOD their children are.” Yes. This happen almost every single time at almost everywhere. To be more exact, among all Malays. You name it, pasar malam, schools and etc. Alert; this situation has higher chance to happen to you at family gathering. Of course, I’ve been in that situation for countless times. Believe me, it’s really annoying and I usually make faces when the oldies start to be boastful about their family members. ”Oh tahu tahu je lah anak aunty yang study dekat Stanford tu baru je kerja dah belikan aunty 10 bracelet Cartier. ” K aunty, I get it. It was really infuriating! Oh how successful, is he the Malay Christian Grey? *inserted a photo of Christian Grey* *deleted because I cannot share my husband's picture anyway like hello, he's mine. Only mine!"...

Photo source: here. No, no. The photo is just an illusion for this entry. No such thing that I float (or sink) myself in the pool after midnight. A fact about me, I've never really fond of taking a night swim. The shadows and night breeze totally freak me out. But my little sister loves it. Okay that's all. Tonight, I'm going to pour my thoughts, my thinking based on a daily basis. I think it's quite normal among us teenagers to stay up late and thinking about life. Basically, thinking about whatever that revolves around us. Statistically, we get depressed later on. So I think as we grow older, all the horror stories we heard from our childhood don't scare us anymore.  It's when the clock start passed by 12am that scare us. Tick, tock, tick, tock. We decided to not sleep and to flashback everything that happened to us instead. Or in another words, drowning ourselves in our own thoughts. Deep thoughts, killer thoughts. I hope someday the future leader me w...

You know. That moment when you go overboard thinking about something you shouldn't even think about in the first place - it's devastating. These days, I struggle very hard to win fights against my heart. All this time, it has always been battles between my heart and my brain. Like any other fights and battles; they give me emotional, mental and physical pain, too. They say our minds are master of all, above all of our other organs. I second that. Biologically and logically, our hearts are. But come on, we are talking about our brain here, let that pass, shall we? I cannot deny anymore.  I'm still not over him.  I'm still into him.  I still haven't move on.  I know, right? I would take a bullet just so that things would be vice-verse. I would kill just so that I don't have to keep running away from the reality. THESE ARE THE KILLER FACTS I HAVE TO LIVE WITH. I know everyone think it's over between us two, that's good. But unfortunately, I cann...